How to Support Your Pregnant Partner in the Third Trimester
In the third trimester your job is to take on more of the physical load, get the practical prep finished, and be calm and reachable. She is likely uncomfortable much of the time now, and appointments become more frequent. This guide covers comfort, the hospital bag, the signs of labor, and when to call.
How can I help with her comfort, sleep and swelling?
She is carrying a lot. Back pain, pelvic pressure, heartburn, swelling, needing to pee often and trouble sleeping are all common now, and moving around can get harder near the end. Be generous with back rubs and patience, and take over the heavy physical tasks completely: cooking, cleaning, lifting and errands.
Sleep is often hard to come by, so protect her rest wherever you can. Swelling is common, but swelling that comes on suddenly, especially in her face or hands, is a warning sign to call about (see below).
Feelings run high too. She may feel anxious, excited or completely overwhelmed, sometimes all at once. Be an active listener. You do not have to fix everything; often just being present is the point. Ask about her fears around labor; an honest conversation is better than guessing. And tell her, specifically, what you admire about how she has handled this pregnancy.
When should we pack the hospital bag, and do we need a birth plan?
Pack the hospital bag together and aim to have it fully packed by week 34 to 36 at the latest. After that, keep it by the door and check it again now and then. Stock the house with postpartum supplies too: pads, stool softener and snacks.
Your birth plan is a conversation as much as a document. Talk through pain relief options so you can help her think through choices on the day, and ask her what she wants from you during labor. Review the plan with her care provider, and know your role in different scenarios: a fast labor, a slow one, or a C-section.
Practice the support you will give: breathing cues, massage and relaxation techniques. Practice them together now so they feel familiar on the day.
What are the signs of labor?
Learn them early, and know them by heart by the final weeks: her waters breaking, a bloody show, and regular contractions. She may lose her mucus plug, and Braxton Hicks practice contractions can become more frequent, which is part of why timing contractions matters.
Agree in advance on exactly when to call her provider and when to go in, and save the provider's number where you can both find it fast. Your care team's advice for your pregnancy is the one to follow.
If her due date comes and goes, try not to panic. Due dates are estimates, not deadlines, and her provider will talk you through the next steps.
What does being "on call" actually mean?
From the final weeks on, labor can start quickly and without much warning. Being on call means she can reach you, and you can get her where she needs to go, at any hour.
- Keep your phone charged and reply quickly. Make sure you are reachable during work hours.
- Tell your employer you may need to leave suddenly, and have a handover plan.
- Know the route to the hospital and a backup route, time the drive, and know where to park.
- Keep the car fueled, the bag by the door and the keys where you can find them.
- Agree who looks after pets or older children, and who you will call when labor starts.
- Talk through what happens if labor starts when you are not home, or in the middle of the night.
- Near the due date, try not to leave her alone for long stretches, and stay close to home.
- Rest and eat well yourself. Labor support takes energy.
What practical prep should we finish: car seat, meals, leave?
Install the car seat and have it inspected by a certified technician. Make sure the nursery is fully ready, and do a final check of the baby gear.
Fill the freezer with meals for the first weeks at home, and look into meal delivery if that suits you. Confirm who is helping in the first two weeks, and settle your visitor plans.
Submit your leave paperwork and make sure your employer knows your plan. Confirm when the baby's first pediatrician appointment will be. If you can, take a newborn care class together. Then read about the fourth trimester, the first three months after birth, because the work does not end at delivery. It is also worth reading about postpartum depression in dads; it is more common than people think.
When should we call the doctor in the third trimester?
If you notice any of these, contact her doctor, midwife or labor and delivery unit straight away, and follow their advice about whether to go in. For heavy bleeding or anything that feels like an emergency, go in immediately or call your local emergency number.
- A decrease in the baby's movements
- Her waters breaking or leaking fluid
- Heavy bleeding
- Regular contractions before 37 weeks
- Regular contractions about 5 minutes apart for an hour
- A severe headache, changes in her vision, or sudden swelling
- A fever
- Any sudden severe symptoms
Week by week in the third trimester
Trusted guidance: NHS: Advice for partners during pregnancy · NHS: Pregnancy · NHS: Pregnancy complications · ACOG: Pregnancy · Pregnancy Info: Your pregnancy